Tag archive for "happiness"

Relationships, Thoughts

Knowing You’re Happy – Without ‘Settling’

No Comments 15 July 2010

How do you know if you’re doing the right things in order to be happy?

How do you know if you’re doing the right job?
How do you know if you have the right friends?
How do you know if you’re dating the right person?

Well, take a minute to think about any one of these. Are you happy in:

1. Your job? What aren’t you happy about? Can you change your unhappiness?

2. Your friends? What is about them that makes you unhappy? What sort of friendship do you have with them? Is it worth staying friends with them?

3. Your relationship? What makes you unhappy with them/the relationship? Can you change that unhappiness?

The reason I throw these questions at you is that although sometimes your unhappiness does come from external forces,  many times that unhappiness comes from you and how you approach the situation.

In a job, are you working hard? Are you making excuses and blaming others at work? Is there more you can do to make the situation better? Perhaps stay late a few days to get caught up on work and make your boss happier. Remember, as much as your boss is pressuring you to do work, their bosses (who have much bigger paycheques) are also putting pressure on you, so there is always more to the story than you initially might think.

In a friendship, there are two sides – yours and theirs. Friendships can be unbalanced – but it’s up to you to decide if you’re going to accept that. Maybe you’re not the one putting in much effort – or maybe it’s your friend. Whatever the case, be realistic with yourself and realize what type of friendship you have. Choose friends who have a positive influence on your life. It’s not worth hanging around people who put you and/or your friends down. Those people will continue to suck the energy from you as long as you let them – so don’t let them!

In a relationship, like a friendship, there are two sides. However, a relationship involves much more. It involves you making sure the other person feels safe around you and vice versa. That you support them no matter what. That when they want to talk, you’re there to listen. As much as you want to be their best friend, you are also much more than that so you should only be with someone who makes you happy and who you can share your life with. If they don’t want to support you and aren’t excited for your accomplishments, then why are you with them? There is someone out there who would love to do that for you – and you for them.

I find sometimes life gets so busy that we don’t take the time to think about our happiness. I know it happens to me so sometimes you need to do some housecleaning. Take a look at what’s important in your life and decide what you can change to make yourself happier.

It’s possible. For me it happened recently. And I’m glad it did.

Popularity: 39% [?]

Thoughts

It’s Your Life…But Who’s in Control?

No Comments 05 October 2009

You hear a lot of talk about how it’s our life and our decisions and that we have the power to make whichever decisions we want; good or bad.

So why is it many people feel like their life is out of their control? What happened to cause that? How can they get it back?

I have been in this situation before. I felt like I had committed to doing so many things that I wasn’t really into doing that it was negatively affecting my personal well being. I would over commit and be too busy. But when I wasn’t busy, I felt like I should be. So what to do?

1. Realize that you can say no. You don’t always have to say yes when someone asks you a favour. Consider what you’re getting out of it, what they’re getting out of it, if you have the time and energy to say yes and then give them your answer. It’s ok to say no. It may take some time to realize that but you need time for yourself too.

2. Start doing the things which you really love doing. Don’t busy yourself with activities which aren’t right for you. Doing things which drain your energy isn’t good for you. And you don’t have to do them. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. But you should definitely be doing things that you love and that are good for you.

That’s it. Two very simple things. Start off by doing them. Everyday, make a conscious decision based on these two points and it’s amazing how much clearer your mind will feel. It’s amazing how much happier you will be. And it’s amazing how much more in control of your own life you will feel.

Popularity: 9% [?]


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