Today marks exactly 7 years since I moved to Calgary from Halifax.

Today is also my sister’s 27th birthday.

My mom’s favourite number was, you guessed it, 7.

In honour of my mom, I’d like to share 7 things I’ve learned/discovered since moving here on May 7, 2005.

1. My passion. I’ve always loved sports and knew that whatever I ended up doing had to involve sports but I wasn’t sure how to make that happen. While I was trying to figure that out, I spent all of my time and money playing ultimate frisbee and starting 2 years ago, disc golf and dog disc and last year overalls. I now know that I want my life to involve disc sports. Teaching, competing, performing. I’m very lucky to have had the opportunities I’ve had but I’ve also worked very hard to get there. I know that the last year was just the beginning and I’m so excited to see what is to come.

2. Myself. When I moved here, I was lost. I didn’t really know who I was, I was following what I thought at the time was love, and I was really moving here to get away from my past. Losing my mom was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to go through and I was hoping for a fresh start moving out here. Over the past year and a half, I’ve really come to love myself and learn who I am. I’ve realized why I was the way I was and am now a better person.

3. My friends. I don’t see my friends a lot but they support me and are there for me when I need them. I try to do the same but I know that I tend to get caught up in my own things and could be a better friend to them. I’ve realized that your friends all bring something unique to a friendship and it’s through those connections that we can grow as a person and enjoy where we live. To me, living in Calgary, Halifax, Edmonton, they are all the same pretty much. But it’s the people you choose to surround yourself with.

4. My family. I don’t get home to see my dad and sister very often but I talk to them every week at least. I do miss them but I’ve learned that there’s no point wishing I could go home more when I’m traveling to many competitions. If I wanted to go home more often, I could, but I choose not to. I love them for respecting and understanding that I’m going after my passion and my dream and I know that when the time is right, we’ll see each other. Being able to have my dad come with me to China last year was one of the highlights of my life.

5. My career. While it’s great to do what you’re passionate about, sometimes your passion doesn’t always pay the bills. I’ve been very fortunate to have some great jobs over the past 7 years and I have learned a lot from all of them. From office moving to metal pipe cutting to teaching skating to building catalogues, I’ve realized what truly inspires me and what doesn’t. In my current role, working in marketing for World Health, I’m able to explore my passions because I have an incredible employer. I’m also able to share with our members my fitness and nutrition passions. Helping them become healthier by being more active and by eating healthier. I’m truly lucky to have the opportunities I have and for that, I thank World Health for making them possible. I’ve always wanted to help people and right now, I’m able to do that in my professional and my personal life. It’s a great synergy.

6. My body. I’ve always been active but I haven’t always been the healthiest. I’ve never smoked, have rarely drank and have never done drugs but I have eaten my fair share of sugar, junk food and fast food. I’ve battled the demons inside for a long time and over the past 2 years, I’ve really taken a look at the choices I’ve made, I’ve started to research more about health and nutrition with books, documentaries and talking to my friends and colleagues and what I’ve learned has changed my life entirely. I have also gotten into barefoot running (and barefoot living in general) and I feel so much better in every aspect of my life. For me, there are always 2 sides to the story and in my experience, usually the majority of people are on the wrong side. The side that has been created and influenced by marketing, by corporations and by the people who want to make profit. The health care industry is a perfect example. There is no money to be made by people being healthy. The popular slogan “take a pill for an ill” is proof of that. It’s sad and unfortunate and I hope to help others realize what is going on. We are stronger than we realize and we don’t have to be depressed, we don’t have to be sick and we don’t have to be unhealthy. The answer is simple but it requires us to take responsibility for our own lives and many people aren’t willing to do that. I hope to inspire others to want to take that responsibility.

7. My future. I see many amazing things happening all around me and I want to continue to surround myself with that. I want to continue to live a life full of passion, a life full of drive and motivation and a life full of goals and dreams.

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In honour of father’s day, I wanted to say a few things about my Dad. How much I appreciate everything that he is to me. How lucky I am for him to be my Dad. How I wish I lived closer to him. And how so much I want him to be happy.

Any man can be a father.  It takes someone special to be a Dad.

There’s a reason I call him Dad.

My Dad and I have been through a lot together. Losing my mom. Having arguments. My struggles in relationships/university/life. And he’s always been there for me. Even when I didn’t want to ask, I knew he would be there for me. Without him, I don’t know what my life would be like. I know I wouldn’t be as strong today if it wasn’t for the support, the guidance and the belief of him in me.

Sure he can be tough on me. But he wants me to be happy and if he feels that I’m making a mistake, he won’t hesitate to tell me.

We’re very similar people. I remember in high school talking to my guidance counselor about the relationship between my Dad and I. About how we would argue about the dumbest things. And about how stubborn we both are. She said it’s because we are both so similar that sometimes we will have battles. And that I needed to try and be more patient with him. And I think I’ve been really good. I know I’ve been a jerk many times. I know I’ve made decisions he didn’t agree with. I just hope that he is proud of me, that he understands what guides me, why I am the way I am and he knows that I’m working towards creating my own life and doing what will make me happy.

I have many things to thank my Dad for – but the greatest gift he ever gave me was his love of sports, athleticism + the spirit of competition. Ever since I was a kid, I was involved in sports. Growing up, I was in the water + on the ice before I was a year old. I learned to play golf when I was only a few years old. I played baseball all the time in the backyard, I would throw the football with my Dad, I would watch him play touch football, I would watch sports with him and I would go to his softball games (and annoyingly call him Clifford the Big Red Dog). Dad, I’m sorry I called you that…I can only imagine how embarrassing it was for your kid to call you that. Wow.

I am so thankful for him coaching my hockey team, for coaching my baseball team, for driving me to/from practices, going to weekend games/tournaments with me, paying for all of my sports and never stopping me from trying out for the AAA hockey teams. Wanting me to do my best. Spending hours helping me practice in the driveway, shooting off the piece of plexiglass he got from work. Playing basketball. Teaching me how to dive and watching me land flat on my back 15 times in a row trying to do a 1 1/2 off the 1 meter board. Setting up some weights in the basement for me so I could start working out. Giving me advice although at times it seemed that I didn’t listen to him (I did listen to him – sometimes I was stubborn and didn’t want to admit that he knew what he was talking about).

I’m sorry for being difficult. I’m sorry for not caring more about your situations and instead thinking my hockey was the most important thing in the world. I realize now how hard you worked at a job you didn’t like with a boss who was a jerk just so Margo and I could play sports and follow our dreams. And how we’ve turned out, we have you to thank.

For Margo going to university on a full golf scholarship to me competing at Nationals in ultimate. To Margo going to Nationals for golf to me going to World’s for flying disc. It all started with you + mom being there, supporting us, teaching us and coaching us. Being our biggest fans.

I hope you know that what you’ve done for me I cannot adequately express in words. I’ve done my best here but it goes so much deeper. Growing up, I know that Margo and I were the luckiest kids ever. To have two loving, dedicated, athletic and caring parents in our lives. I only hope I can someday provide that to my kids. I would be honoured to have been as good to my kids as you have been to me.

Today, on this Father’s Day on Sunday, June 18, 2011, Dad, I want to say how much I love and appreciate you.

Your son,
Robert J McLeod

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I was given a challenge. Well no, more a request. It first was born in a joking complaint. To which I called her out and told her if she gave me a topic to write about, that I would indeed. Well she gave me a topic, and so here I am keeping up my side of the deal. And you know what? I got lucky. She gave me a topic that we’ve discussed many times before. That I love to talk + think about. So I’m greatful for her giving me something that I love to write about.

As the title implies, she (and I as well) believe that alone time is critical to reaching creative flow. To me, this means several things and I will not only explain what I think but I’ll also pull in some great quotes that really express parts of this thinking quite well.

First of all, I think that one of the most important things you can do alone is also one of the most simple and basic human needs. That need is sleep. Every since I can remember, I’ve gone to bed at night tired and woke up rested. For me, sleep has always been important but it’s also been the one constant that I can compromise on if I need more time in my day. However, as I’ve learned more than once, I can only compromise on my sleep for so long until it really starts to affect my mood, my productivity and my relationships.

Lack of sleep affects my mood because when I wake up tired, I don’t feel energized and ready to give the day my best. This leads to me being cranky later on during the day, wanting to sleep and not be very sociable. Which ultimately affects my productivity at work, my productivity on my projects, my ability to work out and be healthy and this leads to a negative effect on my relationships since if I’m not at my best for me, then I can’t be at my best for them.

Another part of alone time means being able to make the time to do something you love to do, on your own. For me this means playing disc golf, throwing a frisbee, going for a run, getting in a workout, watching a movie, reading a book or just sitting and dreaming. If I don’t have the chance to do these on a regular basis, I feel disconnected from myself and I feel out of balance. I love all of those things because I’m good at them, I find them relaxing, I enjoy doing them and they bring balance to my life. Without balance in my life, I’m not able to tackle everything else as effectively and this also affects my productivity. Some people will say “too much of anything isn’t good” and I mostly agree with that. Sometimes you need a lot of something. Other times, not so much. But it’s all about knowing yourself and knowing what you need to create that inner balance for yourself.

Don’t let others throw that balance off. There are people who are energy takers. They will try to get you to spend time with them by making you feel bad for doing other things. That is not a good friend. A good friend will respect you and what you are passionate about. A good friend will miss you but won’t hold it against you if you haven’t seen them in a while. Stay away from those people –  you have a right to have dreams and goals and to go after them. Don’t let others hold you back. Surround yourself with people who will support you and help lift you up instead of dragging you down.

Another way that being alone is good is that many of us who are passionate + motivated will also be creative. And we will always have many ideas swirling around in our head all of the time. When we don’t have time with ourselves to sift through all of our ideas and attempt to quantify them, then those ideas won’t be able to progress past just being in our head. Only when we have alone time will we be able to figure out which ideas we’d like to spend more time on, which ideas aren’t the right ones for right now and which ones won’t really work. Being creative is about taking your skills doing different things with them. And about looking at what projects you’re currently involved in and how you can put your own touch on them, how you can take those projects to the next level and how you can do something different that noone else has done with them yet.

I found this great quote by Helen Hayes

We live in a very tense society. We are pulled apart… and we all need to learn how to pull ourselves together…. I think that at least part of the answer lies in solitude.

Creating a balance in ourselves, and learning to love ourselves, comes from leaving all the distractions of everyday life behind and spending time with yourself. Just because something is a distraction doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. There are many great distractions in your life. Your kids, your sports, your spouse, your passions. But when we are alone and not letting those distractions invade our consciousness at least for a bit of time regularly, we have the ability to, as Helen says, “pull ourselves together”.

My dad really said it best once when I told him about someone in my past who “completed me”. Yes I know it was a cheesy line from a movie but bear with me. He said “that’s great, but wouldn’t it be better if you and her made 2 wholes instead of just one?” That has stuck with me almost 5 years later because he said it so simply and he was absolutely right. We can never be good for someone until we are good for ourselves. Alone time is a big key to that.

I think many of us have heard this before, and many of us believe it, but given all of the bullshit in the world today, it can be very easy to become disillusioned, lost, confused and lose faith. A big part of that are the words we use and what they mean to us. Paul Johannes Tillich said it best when he said:

Language… has created the word loneliness to express the pain of being alone. And it has created the word solitude to express the glory of being alone.

He’s really right though isn’t he? It’s all about how we choose to look at something. Some of us will see the glass as half empty – some of us will see it as half full.

I choose to just get up and fill the glass with water – then I don’t have to worry about the water level.

Flow. Like. Water.

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by Sonny Carroll

A time comes in your life when you finally get it…when, in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out…ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying and blaming and struggling to hold on. Then, like a child quieting down after a tantrum, you blink back your tears and begin to look at the world through new eyes.

This is your awakening.

You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change, or for happiness, safety and security to magically appear over the next horizon. You realize that in the real world there aren’t always fairy tale endings, and that any guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you…and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance. You awaken to the face that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are…and that’s OK. They are entitled to their own views and opinions. You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself…and in the process a sense of newfound confidence is born of self-approval.

You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did to you – or didn’t do for you – and learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don’t always say what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be there for you and that everything isn’t always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself…and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance.

You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties…and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You begin reassessing and redefining who you are and for what you really stand. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you’ve outgrown, or with which you should never have bought into to begin. You learn that there is power and glory in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer” looking for your next fix.

You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you don’t know everything, it’s not your job to save the world and that you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You learn that alone does not mean lonely. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.

You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that your body really is your temple. You begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet, drink more water, and take more time to exercise. You learn that being tired fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play. You learn that, for the most part, you get in life what you believe you deserve, and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone, and that it’s OK to risk asking for help. You learn the only thing you must truly fear is fear itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your own terms. You learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad things happen to unsuspecting, good people…and you learn not to always take it personally. You learn that nobody’s punishing you and everything isn’t always somebody’s fault. It’s just life happening. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls. You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you.

You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower. Then, you begin to take responsibility for yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever settle for less than your heart’s desire. You make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful possibility. You hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind.

Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design the life you want to live as best you can.

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