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But…I’m Busy…Riiight

So we’ve all heard this line from friends/someone we’re interested in:

I’d really like to do something this week but I’m just too busy…

And then you hear that over and over again. Well, I call bullshit. Obviously. If someone is so busy that they can’t make time for you (which they can) then it means they really don’t want to. So forget about that person and move on.

When people complain that they’re so busy that they don’t have time to see family or friends, then really how much does seeing those family and friends mean to that person?

When we live close to our friends or family (the ones that will always be there for us) we tend to see them less than if they lived far away from us. If our family lives a flight away, it takes more of an effort and more planning and so it’s more important to make that effor to see them. However, when they live close to us, we figure that we can see them whenever we want so we don’t have to try as hard and many times, many weeks or months will go by without seeing them. Many people do this. It’s nothing new.

But I think what is important is that we realize who is important in our lives and make more of an effort to include them in our regular life plan. Make an effort to see them every few weeks. Make an effort to call them. When our short term friends have all left our lives, our best friends and family will still be by our side.

Think about it. And instead of telling someone you’re too busy…be honest with them. Tell them that the relationship isn’t going anywhere and you don’t want to spend any more time or effort on it. Unless you both want to be friends in which case make an effort to include them in your regular life plan. It’s not hard. It’s best to be honest. Some feelings may be hurt yes. But honesty is the best policy.

Caveat to that:

One could consider it being honest when someone says that they are “too busy” to hang out. Busy doing other things that don’t involve you. So don’t take it personally. Really it’s better when someone tells you early on that they’re aren’t interested in you like that. Saves you both a lot of time, effort and money. Enough of this playing games bullshit. If you’re not into someone and they can’t figure it out, save them the pain and tell them. Don’t lead them on just because you can. That’s what maturity is all about.

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