As I mentioned earlier, today would have been my mom’s 53rd birthday. She passed away 7.5 years ago from a heart attack.
I still get messages from friends and family telling me how much they miss mom and how amazing she was. She truly was. I feel that, and have been told that, I embody many of her wonderful qualities. One of those qualities is her emotional IQ. I tend to become much more emotionally involved in everything I do – many would call that “wearing your heart on your sleeve”. It’s true and since she passed, I have loved more than I ever thought possible, but I have also hurt and cried more than I ever thought possible. I am just like everyone else; I want to be with someone who loves me for who I am and as much as I love them. I know that we all make mistakes and that we all have our flaws but that is what makes us human and what makes us so amazing. I wouldn’t change a thing that I’ve done or that has happened to me. It’s all been a learning experience. One thing that makes me sad is how some things I’ve done, people make them seem like a bigger deal than they actually are. For example, we all have our little annoyances (chewing with our mouth open, the way we brush our teeth, shaving our back in the kitchen), but I say that we should embrace those. In a different light, they are cute. They are what makes us each an individual. I know my mom was the most accepting person I have ever known.
And I leave you with some words that she wrote me during my first year of university when I was away from home in Edmonton (and which I read at her funeral):
It is easy to sit back and do nothing as then you can’t make mistakes, can’t be sad or happy for the things that are thrown your way. It’s not easy to take that step forward but you will learn so much every time you do take a step. Just like the day you learned to walk, it started opening up your world in a new way from when you could crawl. Oh yes there were falls along the way, When you first started walking you fell more than you walked. You got your share of brusies and bumps. But you kept trying and eventually you did it. Sure it would have been easier to stay crawling as you knew what to expect, but look at what you would have missed if you hadn’t started walking. This is an illustration. One of so many in your life so far. No matter what you decide to do you will stumble and make some mistakes but YOU WILL LEARN. The failures are learning too because they teach us how to do things differently. NO one is perfect or has all the answers.
Your dreams must come from your heart’s deepest desires. Only then will the barriers come down before you. To know your heart, you must know yourself. You are who you decide to be, not who other people decide for you to be. You were created and intended for greatness. Be noble Stand on the higher ground.
Mom, I love you so much and miss you every day.